Didn’t Realize I Tried Sexting for the 1st Time (Hated it…)
I was just looking for love/friendship…but I learnt that some people are still shit…
There’s a lot of free time when you lose your day job thanks to COVID-19. & with a lot of free time, us young people would flock over to find friends to talk to online.
Ironically, despite constant warnings of how unsafe it is according to the boomers (including my old-fashioned parents), that’s now the safest way to go if you want a social life during the pandemic.
For a Singaporean like myself, we head to Locanto.
Locanto is sort of like Craigslist, except here Craigslist is no longer relevant (as in no one cares anymore) due to all the Wanted ads by hookers from China (& sometimes Thailand & other places). I mean, they posted EVERYWHERE…which ruined things for everyone else…& thanks to them, there’s no longer a Personals section there. & no one here posts on Craigslist anymore.
& Locanto became a safer alternative in Southeast Asia (at least if hookers wanna post ads on Locanto, it will ONLY be under Personals & not under the Wanted Jobs section)…
Anyway I scrolled through the Personals section to see if anything interested me. & sure enough…
If I see a fellow 28-year-old posting an ad that screams “ME!”…& it looks so sincere…I’m sending him a message…
& of course as you can tell from the title, it did NOT go the way I thought it would…
I don’t usually message guys. As a teenager, I tried online dating & hated it (that’s another story)…but now with being much older & being more open-minded & willing to try new things, I just went for it.
So we exchanged numbers & started chatting on WeChat. As a Singaporean, we know WeChat as the place to go if you’re China Chinese (no racism, that’s just the mentality here) or if you just wanna do hook-ups…
I thought it was suspicious at 1st but then I saw under my contacts that my boss (she’s married) & my assistant manager (he’s single but a good guy) were on WeChat, so I gave it a shot…
That was where we had a conversation that made me strangely the angriest I could ever be…
Keep in mind I was looking for a long-term relationship (I let him know in the beginning since he posted he was offering that & it seemed we had much in common)…& I already let him know that if it doesn’t work out, we can just be friends…
We began with small intros of ourselves. He asked how I’d rate myself, I said a solid 7 or 8 depending on how you see me. He said he was a 7 as well. Then came the question about age (our ASL questions became more like SLA).
Then I realized, things were heading towards the “no way, this can’t happen” spectrum. It’s not because he wasn’t my type. It’s not because I realized this will most likely just be a friendship. It was because this was the first of the lies. He wasn’t 28, he was 30.
But I shoved it away, thinking, “Hey, people lie about their age all the time on the internet…whatever ya know…” & it’s just a slight age difference, no biggie…but it gets worse…
He starts asking about my stats. That’s right, he wanted to know about my butt & my boob sizes. I was stunned but hey, I thought, if this is where the convo’s going, I’m gonna play him a bit. So I made him do a bit of guesswork instead of just saying anything…
& then he dropped a huge bombshell.
He WASN’T SINGLE!
Here you are, reader, going “OMG he did that & you thought…OMG…!” Yeah, that’s exactly what I was wondering…why would you put yourself as single when you’re not?
Apparently this guy’s either in a relationship he thinks wouldn’t last, or he’s
in 1 of those “open relationships” where you could hook up with anyone else but still be in a relationship with someone. Either way, as someone with principles, I don’t condone it…
I told the guy I’m not comfortable talking to someone who’s not single & you’re gonna go the sexual route. Then he tried to cool the situation, “it’s OK, we’re just trying to be friends”. I reminded the guy I said we can talk about ANYTHING…anything about family or dreams or work…but he wanted to go the sex route…he realized the issue (or so I thought) & decided to make us more comfortable…
So he said we should play the Rapid Fire Questions game. I thought, “OK, this sounds decent”…our game went like this (he was asking the questions)…
Red or black?
Dress or jeans?
Rose or sunflower?
Liquor or wine? (I don’t drink so none)
Cigarettes or shisha? (Don’t condone smoking so neither, also the guy didn’t know how to spell shisha [Yes, I’m a Grammar Nazi])
Tub or balcony?
Car or bed?
Bed or tub?
Thongs or Gs?
Kiss or lick? (I started to question things & realized what this is…)
69 or suck? (…I wanted it to end…)
I told him right there & then I wasn’t interested in doing those things…yeah, he was trying to get me in bed with him, despite what we discussed in the beginning…
Then I noticed my battery was at 69%, so to try & stop things from escalating too quickly, I talked about my battery being at 69 in a joking way…
Then it got way too disturbing…he then asks, “Where do you want my gravy to land?” (he didn’t use the word gravy, I’ll censor what I don’t want people to see me type out)…
The questions we’re all asking at this point…
How thirsty is this guy? Is his sex life with his partner really that bad that he pretends to be single online to sext with single strangers…?
I went from being interested to getting confused to becoming annoyed…at the end of it all, I just became angry…& sex (or thinking about it) is supposed to stop you from getting angry…
& HE JUST KEPT GOING…despite me hinting & actually saying that too much is too much…he claimed that he just wanted to get to know me better…
Now some of you are thinking, you should’ve stopped talking to the guy once the lies came out…well that’s MY issue…1 of my weaknesses is my empathy; I know people are human, so I give them a chance…but clearly this guy wasn’t worth giving any chances…
& so I ended it without being super rude or anything. Then he asks if he could send me some GIFs. I said I didn’t mind. Then he sent me GIFs of sexual acts. & I had enough. OK that’s the end of it. The line’s been crossed.
I pretended I was too tired to say anything more so I said I was cleaning the house prior…it was already 9pm & I just wanted to sleep. So I said goodnight. & he kept asking if he did something wrong to scare me away. I just ended it with a goodnight.
But it didn’t end there…
He kept texting me for the next 2 days. & I realized being too nice can’t cut it anymore. This guy’s got issues & someone needed to tell him. Too bad it had to be me.
There’s a saying in Southeast Asia, that if you piss off the nicest person (almost angelic if you will) you know, you end up pissing off someone worst than the devil…that’s me by the way…
This was how I told him off…
“Hey listen. I have to be straightforward with you. I don’t appreciate the lies you spoke in our 1st & only convo. I don’t like that you lied about your age & about your relationship status. I don’t like that even though I already told you I’m looking for a long-term relationship, you wanted to just use someone for sexual fantasies. I’m horrified that you were nothing like your post suggested.
About our conversation…I didn’t like that despite me saying we can talk about ANYTHING at all, you only wanted to talk about sex…that’s basically 3/4 or more of what our conversation was about. & even though I kept saying I wasn’t comfortable, you kept going & even escalated to ridiculous proportions…enough is enough, OK? There’s a fine line between making dirty jokes to get a laugh & just being playful, as compared to just being an all-rounded creep…
I’m disgusted that you think you can use me as a pawn in your little game. I already told you I’m looking for a decent person & you claimed to be 1 in your post. If this is how you act just “trying to be friends” with someone, I hate to see how you act when you’re in an actual relationship. Everyone has fantasies, but normal people don’t lie & use strangers on the internet. It’s just common decency, someone should’ve told you that.
I feel sorry for the lady you’re with. If you can’t handle a relationship & choose to lie to strangers (who have good intentions) & use them for your sick fantasies, then you don’t deserve relationships of any kind. Take a good look at yourself & ask what’s wrong with me, & change. Then, maybe just then, someone would find you attractive enough & stay & commit with you…
We will no longer be chatting”
& then I blocked the guy, & got his number off my phone.
Now on Locanto, I only look for women friendship posts…at least this situation taught me that…
Guess what, I made 4 female friends & 1 trans friend…
& I’m back to writing…WOOH…here’s to more…
